After having written the lengthy blog explaining what my problem with my professor was, I went and talked to him. Before talking to him I spoke to two other professors about my issue. They were able to help me make sure that I was focusing on only one issue. I also found out that I had been wrongly blaming my professor for another issue(not related to what was previously posted.)
When I went to the professor to talk to him, things went much better than I had expected in very many ways; thought not as good as I would have liked in a few small ways. When I spoke to the two other professors they thought what I had to say was very positive. Unfortunately, because of past events, my professor had a more difficult time understanding why I had come to him. He talks to a lot of students, so I'm sure he gets a lot of students who just want to blame and accuse him.
We spoke for roughly an hour and half. He was very considerate to me. The conversation ended up leading to me telling him some rather personal information about my family life and some problems I've had. He had at least three people come to speak with him, one of which even had an appointment. He turned each one of them down so that he could give me the kind of attention which would demonstrate a respect for what I was saying. While it was difficult for me to get my point across, the respect that was demonstrated meant a great deal.
Ultimately, my professor did not agree with most of what I was saying. He continued to say that he had not seen anything which demonstrated that I was the high caliber actor he was looking for. If you read my previous post, you will understand exactly why I agreed that he hadn't. After some talking, I finally triggered a small understanding of what I was saying when I mentioned that while I could see why he thought I have a difficult time taking direction, ultimately what was happening was him setting up a self fulfilling prophecy.
The conversation continued, and we basically settled onto the idea that he had not seen enough to say that I was a high caliber actor. However, it was a great opportunity for us to exchange compliments, and I believe we both left with a greater respect. He said that before he could say he thought I was the kind of actor he was looking for, he would have to see me perform something which showed I could be in the moment. He started suggesting that I do some kind of independent project at the school next year. This is where I had to inform him that I will be leaving this summer(that's a post for another day.)
I ended up getting, at least, a good grade in the class; not as a result of the conversation but simply as a result of the scene I did. So, while the conversation didn't help to convince him I was a good actor(which of course it shouldn't) I believe it has opened a door of opportunity. After I informed him that I may or may not be returning next semester, I suggested an Idea for an independent project.
It just so happens, I have been writing a one man show.(I know, I know, it seems every actor has written some shitty one man pity party.) However, I have been writing for a few years; and I didn't decide to think up a one man show. It's actually just something that happened to me that, while it was happening to me, I thought to myself, "HA! This would be a hilarious play! Now I just have to make it out of this alive to tell about it." (Ahh, now you see; that's something you can only say of a story worth hearing!) Basically, the plan is that I will film/perform the piece as my independent project.
I do, however, see that it doesn't really show that I can take direction. However, I want to discuss this idea of whether I actually have difficulty taking direction or not. I'm going to write about it next.
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